Christmas 2009 and sleep training-updated!

I am waiting on pics of Jackson at Christmas this year from my dad/cousin, so I will upload them asap. We only took video this year of Christmas morning and I forgot to take pictures of him in his Christmas outfit, so hopefully my dad/cousin got some good ones on Christmas Eve. Check out his new bib-his gift from Aunt Meri. Justin LOVES this bib and it has been one of his favorite sayings since Jackson was born. Our neighbor has three little girls and he actually told our neighbor this when we found out we were having a boy. Jackson looks so cute in his little hoodie!

This year was so much fun because we got to celebrate Jackson's first Christmas. The festivities started on Christmas Eve. I was extremely tired that day because the night before, Jackson was up every hour or so. I am sure it was from teething because he woke up crying every time. Those teeth have got to be making their way out soon! We began by going to my mom's house and having an early lunch and opening presents. Jackson did great and was all smiles for his Grandma. He looked SO big up against her when she was holding him. I can't believe how much he seems to grow every day. My brother (uncle Eric) thinks Jackson is going to keep his blue eyes. We'll see! We opened our presents there and headed to my cousin's house to do early dinner with my Dad's side of the family. We had a great time there and Jackson really enjoyed spending time with his Paw Paw (my dad) and meeting some of his other family members. After that we headed home and Jackson soon passed out from his exciting day. He slept like a champ that night. He must've known that Santa Clause was coming! Christmas morning was such a nasty, dreary day but we stayed warm and toasty and opened presents with Jackson. He even helped tear the wrapping paper off, but the proceeded to try and eat it, along with the bows :) We were supposed to head to Columbia to my Grandma and Grandad's house, but Jackson began fussing badly, it was raining and we were under a tornando watch, and my aunt was not feeling well, so we decided to stick close to home this year. I HATED missing it, but we had to do what was best for Jackson. He fussed for several hours that day and we had to give him some Tylenol, which eventually seemed to kick in. Overall, it was a wonderful first Christmas with Jackson. We got some great gifts, but nothing compared to the biggest gift of all-being with family and having our healthy, happy baby here with us to celebrate! :)

The past few nights have been a challenge to say the least with our little guy. He has gone back to night waking every 45 mins to an hour. His eyes pop open and he fusses louder and louder until someone picks him up. It's getting harder to get him back to sleep because he wants to nurse and be held all night. Justin has tried rocking him and patting his back, but he will settle down only to wake back up when he is put down. So this means I am up with him most of the night and sleeping in 30 minute increments....which makes want to cry and also makes me feel like I am going to lose my mind around the 2-3am hour or so! Our pediatrician said the only way to break him of this is to plan on having 3 really bad nights where we let him cry it out. He said that it wouldnt do any long term emotional damage and that we wouldnt scar him for life. Also, obviously we need to move him to his nursery and crib, which we probably should have done a long time ago.

Last night was our first attempt and didnt quite go as planned. He is a smart little guy and must have sensed something was coming because he began some mega fussing around 8 pm, which is normally when he peacefully drifts off to sleep. Nothing seemed to make him feel better, and he was sticking his fist in his mouth and crying out. Teething? Seems like I am always writing about this. Teething rings give him temporary relief. We tried Mylecon in case it was gas. We gave him Tylenol in case it was teething pain. Or is it that he was overtired and fighting sleep? He finally settled down after fussing himself to exhaustion and fell asleep in Justin's arms. We placed him in his crib and got ready for a loooong night. He slept for 45 mins and woke up screaming. I admit i nursed him, because he didnt eat well due to all the fussing and I wanted to make sure he was full. We put him back down and 5 mins later he began screaming again. Justin waited a few minutes and then went in and tried rubbing his back, talking to him, etc, but the screams got worse. We let it go for 15 minutes and it was so bad that we thought he was going to make himself sick. Finally we came to the conclusion that maybe he was in pain, since this was THE WORST he has ever cried, so we decided to scrap our plans for the night and to comfort him. I put him in my arms and he just nursed himself right to sleep, although he kept whimpering from being so upset, which broke my heart! I thought we'd be in for a rough night, but he slept from 11:30 until 5:30 straight in his pack and play next to our bed. He woke up and I fed him and he was back to sleep by 6 and slept until 9 AM...yay! I dont know why his night waking is so inconsistent. We decided that tonight we would transition him to the crib first before we try sleep training. I guess I just assumed since he had already began sleeping through the night that he would continue. Wishful thinking, maybe? I keep reading about this 4 month sleep/nightwaking monster that creeps up on a lot of parents, so maybe that is what we're going through.

Just as I was typing that last paragraph, he started fussing and rubbing his eyes, knawing on his hands. He didnt nap well this afternoon. The fusses turned to screams and I put him in his swing and he is out in dreamland...for now! Yesterday I was talking to one of my physicians that I deal with for work (he's an OBGYN) and was telling him the latest with the sleeping. He said that as much as I probably didnt want to hear it, that they are only this precious age for a blip in time and that I would blink and he would be 15 and I would be wishing that I could just pull him close and have him close to me all night to watch over him. He said that one day I would be waking up in the middle of the night while he is off at college, wondering if he's safe and sleeping peacefully in his bed. So basically, he said that although the lack of sleep is challenging, that I should hold that baby close to me and thank God that I am still able to nurse him at almost 5 months and appreciate that Jackson has (and needs) that bond to me. Way to make me feel GUILTY! I am just so torn between getting Jackson in a better sleep cycle or giving up on sleep for awhile to cherish (even at 3 AM!) these precious moments that will one day be a memory. Ahhhh what to do? Its hard because I know I have work the next day and dont have the luxury of a nap. I called my sister in law, Becca, and she said that the advice she was given with sleep training her twins was that you have to pay the piper eventually, so you might as well go ahead and have your bad 3-7 nights to get the other side of peaceful sleep. She said it was the hardest thing they ever had to do with the twins. If not, she has friends that are still waiting for their babies to grow out of nightwaking at 20 months! I have read the same thing on the internet, and I dont want to still be up every hour a year from now. I am just going to try and take it day by day, but I fear that day of "cry it out" is getting closer and closer! I have no idea how I am going to find the strength to let him cry like he did last night. I am praying that he will have more restful nights like last night (after the meltdown) in the coming weeks so that I dont have to go through this. I really dont mind waking up once or twice with him....its just these 45 minute wakings that make me a little crazy.

So ANYWAY, other than that, Jackson is doing great and just wakes up every morning with the biggest smile on his face. This morning he was so happy, so he must not remember the traumatic evening before! He is learning to really jump in his jumper and loves when we clap for him. You can tell he is just so proud of himself! He is also starting to pull up his knees and start moving them in a crawling motion and trying to propel himself forward. Once he gets enough strength in his arms, I think we will have a crawling baby. Still no teeth yet, but he soaks through several bibs a day from all of his saliva. He is laughing a lot more now and loves when I tickle under his double chin..ha! He also smiles everytime I say "mama, dada, baba, baby, kitty cat, poo poo, pee pee, and boo boo". His favorite song is still "Jesus loves me" and I get a smile every time I sing the opening line. Everyone thinks he is looking more like Justin these days. His hands are like bear paws, and he definitely didnt get my hands/fingers. His hair is finally starting to grow back in and looks like a very light brown.

Not much else to say right now, other than that Justin and I are doing great and just busy working and taking care of baby. Still trying to make it to the gym 3 times a week in shifts between the two of us, although I have been slacking lately. I am 3 lbs less than when I got pregnant and back to my wedding weight, which is great considering I havent been at the gym much the last couple of weeks. Carrying around an over 16 lb baby is a pretty good workout anyway. I know once I stop breastfeeding I will have to really make sure I am hitting the gym and cutting out my chocolate indulgance! Also, we found out that Jackson is having another cousin, Kendall! Brooke found out they are having a girl, and we cant wait to meet her! We are also excited to meet Jackson's newest cousin, Caroline who is due in Feb. She is the newest addition to my brother, Allen's family. One more thing, I bought a different kind of paci yesterday and Jackson seems to tolerate it for longer than the others. He still prefers his thumb/fingers, but I think we might have a winner for pacis. I got a picture of him with it and he looks SO cute!

** Update: Last night he went to sleep peacefully at 8:30 PM and slept in his crib until 4:30 AM!!! I had to walk in and check on him once because I kept waking up and looking at him in our video monitor and he barely moved all night. I did nurse him at 4:30 since he slept for such a long stretch and he went right back down in his crib until 6:30 AM. Then, I brought him downstairs and fed him and he slept for another hour in his swing...success!! Maybe it was a fluke, but Justin and I are just SO thankful that we had a good first night in the crib :)

4 1/2 month well visit

Today was Jackson's 4 month visit to the pediatrician, but he is actually right at 4 1/2 months old. His official stats are:
Height: 26 inches-76th percentile
Weight: 16.1 lbs-62nd percentile
Head Circumference: 17 in-65th percentile

He did great and we got to see our friends Stephanie and David with their precious baby Benjamin while we were there. As soon as Dr. Drew walked in however, Jackson got a big frown and started wailing. Im not sure where that came from. He pretty much fussed and cried during Dr. Drew's exam. We got him calmed down just in time for the nurse to come in and do the shots. Jackson reacted exactly like he did last time, so I nursed him and he calmed right down. Dr. Drew came back in and he was much better. I forget to ask the Dr. about solids...I guess a screaming baby will do that to ya :) Maybe I will try and give him a call sometime this week. Anyway, Jackson seems to be doing well tonight, so hopefully that continues!

4 1/2 Months old!

Well, just a few days shy of 4 1/2 months anyway and 19 weeks old. By our estimate he is a tad bit over 16 lbs. He is wearing 6 month clothes now. We will get his official weight at his 4 month well visit on Tuesday. He also gets another round of shots. Justin says that this time I have to be the one that he looks at when he gets the shots...boo! I am not looking forward to that. I am interested to see what the pediatrician says about starting solids. I know babies can start as early as 4 months, but then the American Academy of Pediatrics says that for breastfed babies, other foods, juices, etc. are unnecessary until 6 months of age. Jackson definitely seems to be becoming more interested in eating. He watches both of us eat and starts moving his mouth a little bit. We'll see what Dr. Drew thinks about maybe introducing some rice cereal.

These last few weeks have been so much fun. Justin's mom came to stay with us while Justin was out of town and Jackson did so well with her. He was such a happy baby and he was "talking" to her so much. He did not nap well during the day with her, but I am sure he was just too excited to sleep! Jackson was very happy to see his daddy when Justin got back home from the blizzard in Michigan. It has been great having Justin back home and we finally got our tree up and decorated. Jackson loves to stare at the tree and we got him his very own stocking to hang above the fireplace yesterday.

We did have some sleeping challenges over the last couple of weeks. Jackson has been such a great sleeper since early on. Ever since we made the transition from bassinet to sleep positioner, he started have some periods of fussing in the middle of the night. He never actually wakes up, but he does fuss and it will get louder and louder until I nurse him. I always do because I dont want him to get so upset that he wakes himself up and wont go back down. If I nurse him, he is back in a deep sleep in 10 minutes. Normally it was just once a night, but it had been increasing in frequency as time went on. At one point, he began doing this every 2 hours, which meant that I was sleeping in 1-1 1/2 hour increments! Of all the research I've done, I have found two completely opposite thoughts: Dr. Sears says that you should respond and that the baby is telling you that he is either hungry or needs some bonding time. Dr. Ferber says that by responding every time, you are actually creating negative eating/sleep habits and that you are doing more harm than good. So my dilemma has been: Is he fussing because he is actually hungry? Is he lonely? Is he in some pain from teething? Am I a sucker because he knows that all he has to do is start fussing and I will pick him up and feed him?

Soooo, the first thing we did was get rid of the sleep positioner because our big boy is just too constricted by it. We also moved the pack and play (where he still sleeps) from across the room to next to me...one step closer to his nursery and crib. Then we busted out the pacifier to try and see if he would take it to calm himself down. We tried different things like Justin rocking him, giving a paci, rubbing his back. I dont know what did the trick, but within a day or so, he started only fussing once a night. And it is getting later and later. Now, it doesnt happen until about 5-6 AM, so that is great. Then he goes back down immediately for another 2 hours or so. So I am back to only being up once a night to nurse him, and it is so nice. He does have periods of a little fussiness as his sleep states transition, but he is able to soothe himself back to sleep now. I am thinking a large part of it was that the sleep positioner was not working for him. Now he sleeps from about 9PM-7 AM. Lets hope this continues!!

We also set up his jumper seat and he loves it! He wasnt sure about it at first, but he quickly learned how to make the sounds go off and he is starting to get the hang of jumping in it. He gets so excited and we start clapping when he jumps, which makes him smile and jump even more. He is so cute when he things something is funny, he gives a little chuckle. He is not yet giving us any good belly laughs, and I can't wait until that comes. He has noticed his feet more and starts grabbing at his legs/feet when his diaper is being changed. Yesterday we had to move him to size 3 diapers because his chunky Michelin-man legs were busting out of the stage 2!! We are still working on tummy time and rolling over. He still rolls from his tummy to side, and then eventually kicks his leg to get him on his back. No back to tummy yet, although I think that is just around the corner. I was reading my friend Mandy's blog yesterday and it made me laugh because she was talking about being kinda crazy about making sure that her (beautiful) little girl is meeting milestones and comparing them to other babies. Mandy, if you are reading this I can totally relate and I think every mother must do this at some point! I started to find myself getting a little concerned if I see or hear of one baby laughing/rolling over/etc, and Jackson isnt quite doing it yet. But I am learning more and more that every baby is SO different and unique and they all do things when they are ready. PS Lorelei looks like Brian to me and she is TOO cute! Anyway, Someone said something funny to me the other day. They said that you spend all this time and effort trying to help your baby to walk and talk, and then you spend the next 15 years trying to get them to sit down and be quiet..HA!

I posted some new pictures of Jackson and his perfect little bald head. He is getting some new hair growing in and it looks really light brown. Also, his eyes are still as blue as can be. I wonder if they will stay that way . My dad and both brothers have blue eyes, but Justin and I still think he will be green-eyed. Hope you enjoy the new photos and video. I will update after his appt. on Tues.

16 Weeks

I am getting so bad about the weekly updates. He is already 17 weeks today. I think I am just going to start updating the blog now whenever I get the chance instead of every single week. I did well to last for 16 weeks! Anyway, these past two weeks have been busy! For Thanksgiving, Jackson took his first road trip to the mountains of NC. He did great on the drive up and slept most of the time. It went a lot smoother than we thought it would. That all changed once we got to the house. Jackson was fine for an hour or so, and then started crying....nonstop...for almost five hours. It was a painful cry and it broke my heart. We were trying to figure out if it was altitude change, sickness, tummyache, new environment, etc. Thats when the green poo started (TMI!). Justin and I had Fuddruckers on the way up, and I am thinking that it may have really upset his tummy. Maybe there was some sort of spice on the burger or something? The night before I had chicken and rice, and that morning I had a muffin from ABC, so I dont think it was that. We gave him some Mylecon and I thought we'd be in for a loooong night, but he calmed down and slept the whole night. I am sure he was exhausted from crying! The next day (Thanksgiving) he was great and was all smiles. I was SO glad to have my happy baby back. It took several days for the green poo to work its way out. Poor baby :( He did great on the way home and then on Sunday, Justin left for Atlanta for training with his new job for 4 days.

Thats when the real fun began. It was just Jackson and mommy hanging out together. On Monday morning I noticed that he started sneezing and coughing more than usual. He didnt have a runny nose and seemed happy so I wasnt too worried. Then the fussiness began. I am talking ALL day whining. At least it wasnt crying. By that evening I was lonely, exhausted, and had only eaten an english muffin all day. I realized later that that is pretty stupid since I am still exclusively breastfeeding and I need some calories to be able to function. Jackson was taking a nap around 6 pm and woke up with painful cry and was tugging at his ear. Then I got him to calm down and he gagged on his saliva and vomited (ALL over me) for the first time ever. It was def. not baby spit up, which he rarely does anyway. He got a low grade fever of only 99.3, but it was his first fever and I was alone. So whats a girl to do but call her mom and cry it out. Yep, I called my mom b/c I didnt want to worry Justin and just sobbed, which made me feel better. She offered to come over, but it was almost Jackson's bedtime by then, so I didnt want her to drive over if he was going to sleep soon. Then I talked to Justin who was so sweet and assured me I was doing a great job. We were concerned, but I gave him some Tylenol and his fever went right down and my happy smiling baby returned. Believe it or not he slept all night long (thank god). The next morning he was still somewhat fussy but had no fever. He was still tugging at his ear, so I called our pediatrician and he said it didnt sound worrisome, but that he wanted to check his ears to see if he was getting an ear infection.

Off the the dr we went. Once we stepped foot into the office, Jackson started smiling and flirting with the staff. We saw a nurse practitioner who checked him out and said he was perfectly healthy...what!? She said the sneezing, coughing, fussiness, gagging, ear pulling, and low grade fever could have been due to excess saliva from teething, very mild cold, allergies, altitude adjustment, etc...but def not an ear infection. She thinks it is most likely teething or mild allergies. Also, they took his weight and Jackson weighed 15 pounds even. After that appt he was perfectly fine and has seemed fine since then, except he seems a little fussy still and gnaws on everything. Everything, that is, except his teething rings! :) Being without Justin for a few days really made me appreciate having him around so much more. Justin leaves again tomorrow for work to Michigan until Friday. His mom will be staying with us this week while he's gone. We are looking forward to her visit!

Jackson is just so stinkin' cute. He is our little Christmas elf! We still just look at him and can't believe that he is our sweet little baby. People say he is looking more like Justin as he is getting older, but I think he's a good mix. As for Justin, he is LOVING his new job so far. He is also winding down his semester with school. I am doing great and still working hard to get caught up with work, but making progress. I am getting excited for our first Christmas with Jackson, but disappointed that we wont be getting our tree until after next weekend. With Justin being out of town, we are going to wait until he gets back to decorate and set everything up. Boo! I wish we had gotten it together sooner, but it's been difficult between both of us traveling for work. We did manage to get our Christmas cards done. We didnt do professional pics this year because we just sent the birth announcements out and life has been so hectic. Instead, I took some pictures of Jackson myself. The christmas cards turned out pretty good, but not near as nice as our birth announcements. Next year we will be sure to get some good family Christmas pics made! Jackson will be 4 months old on Tues....happy 4 months to my big boy!