It's done...

Breastfeeding, that is!

I can't believe I did it for just short of two years. Well, a year and 10 months to be exact.

No wait, to be exact, it would be 655 days OR 1 year, 9 months, and 17 days!!

It is certainly bittersweet. You know, it's funny I never thought I would nurse Jackson for this long. I remember telling my OB and the nurses who delivered Jackson that I would do ANYTHING required to ensure that I would breastfeed him exclusively for 6 months and that I try my hardest to nurse him for a year. I would have pumped every hour if I had to, taken supplements, etc. You name it, I would have done it. Thankfully I didn't have to do any of that, but I was always concerned that I was making enough milk. HAHA! If I had only known that I would be doing it for almost two years. Three things I learned:

#1) Your supply is going to be JUST FINE if you don't get up in the middle of the night to pump. Jackson was only sleeping in 4-5 hour increments there for awhile and still I was getting up to pump every 3 hours or so. No wonder I was so tired! Talk about a walking zombie. I wish I had slept when Jackson did instead of being a milk supply nazi and sitting downstairs pumping at 2:30 every morning. I was sleeping in 2 hour increments. I remember one such night I had just pumped a bottle and was so tired that I spilled it all over the kitchen counter. I was so upset that I cried and then had a really hard time falling back asleep. As soon as I fell asleep, Jackson woke up. Go figure! I remember reading a card at Hallmark soon after that almost made me start crying right there in the store, but brought a smile to my face at the same time:






#2)The lactation consultant doesn't always know best. Although I am SO thankful for them! Mine was great at the hospital and I am forever grateful to her for helping me get the hang of it. Once I got home, I started worrying about my supply because I was only getting about 3-4 oz when I pumped. When I called her, she said she had another patient who was getting 8 oz every time and that maybe I should try pumping more/longer. The result of that conversation is that I started trying so hard to get more and you know what? It was a big ole fat waste of time. As a matter of fact, I don't think I ever pumped more than 4-5 oz except if it had been a long time in between feedings. I know she was trying to help, but by her comparing me to another patient, I set a standard for myself that I was never going to reach. I realized it soon and gave up trying to get more milk and pumping longer. And obviously I was worried for nothing because Jackson never ended up needing or having a single drop of formula.

#3)People will pat you on the back and tell you how wonderful it is that you are breastfeeding for about the first 9 months. After that, the comments go from "Good for you! That's great that you are nursing him" to "Oh, wow...you are still nursing? When do you plan on stopping? to "OH MY GOSH GIRL I cant believe you are still nursing! Are you going to be one of those crazy moms that nurses their baby until they are six?" It's funny the comments that I've gotten, but some have been very positive. By the way, Justin said this was totally me when we saw this movie. We got quite a laugh!




The weaning process was a long one for me, but it was very gentle. Thankfully it was done with minimal tears and although not happy about it, Jackson seems to have accepted it. I knew it was about time, but my most recent dr. visit made me realize that the time was now. I have had several appts with the breast surgeon, who does my clinical breast exams every six months and it has been a standing joke that by the next appt, I would be done breastfeeding. Of course, I never was. Given my family history of breast cancer and the fact that I have had a past biopsy, my surgeon wants me to get a baseline mammogram this year at age 30. Of course I can't have one if I am pregnant, so I have a window of opportunity between when I stop nursing and when we start trying to get pregnant again. That being said, I realized that I wanted to have some time in between the two, so I am all set to get my mammogram in July, which meant I needed to stop breastfeeding now. So it was a good time to stop.

But like I said, it is really bittersweet. Even though I had 2 bouts of mastitis, at least 15 or so plugged ducts and 2 nasty bites from my vampire baby- I would do it again in a heartbeat! It was all worth it and more!


Of course, like CLOCKWORK, Jackson has now decided that since he isn't getting the good stuff anymore, he is going to refuse to sleep in his own bed for nighttime AND for naps. I will rock him and he will be snoring and as soon as I lay him down in his bed, he pops his eyes open and cries. Then it takes FOREVER to get him back to sleep. Because of this, he has spent he last couple of nights in bed with us. He had gotten so good at sleeping in his own bed for most of the night and then just like that, it was over. We are giving it a few days to see if it is a phase, but I am afraid this may be a related to weaning him. Who knows? I am hoping that this is just a short phase!