Christmas 2009 and sleep training-updated!

I am waiting on pics of Jackson at Christmas this year from my dad/cousin, so I will upload them asap. We only took video this year of Christmas morning and I forgot to take pictures of him in his Christmas outfit, so hopefully my dad/cousin got some good ones on Christmas Eve. Check out his new bib-his gift from Aunt Meri. Justin LOVES this bib and it has been one of his favorite sayings since Jackson was born. Our neighbor has three little girls and he actually told our neighbor this when we found out we were having a boy. Jackson looks so cute in his little hoodie!

This year was so much fun because we got to celebrate Jackson's first Christmas. The festivities started on Christmas Eve. I was extremely tired that day because the night before, Jackson was up every hour or so. I am sure it was from teething because he woke up crying every time. Those teeth have got to be making their way out soon! We began by going to my mom's house and having an early lunch and opening presents. Jackson did great and was all smiles for his Grandma. He looked SO big up against her when she was holding him. I can't believe how much he seems to grow every day. My brother (uncle Eric) thinks Jackson is going to keep his blue eyes. We'll see! We opened our presents there and headed to my cousin's house to do early dinner with my Dad's side of the family. We had a great time there and Jackson really enjoyed spending time with his Paw Paw (my dad) and meeting some of his other family members. After that we headed home and Jackson soon passed out from his exciting day. He slept like a champ that night. He must've known that Santa Clause was coming! Christmas morning was such a nasty, dreary day but we stayed warm and toasty and opened presents with Jackson. He even helped tear the wrapping paper off, but the proceeded to try and eat it, along with the bows :) We were supposed to head to Columbia to my Grandma and Grandad's house, but Jackson began fussing badly, it was raining and we were under a tornando watch, and my aunt was not feeling well, so we decided to stick close to home this year. I HATED missing it, but we had to do what was best for Jackson. He fussed for several hours that day and we had to give him some Tylenol, which eventually seemed to kick in. Overall, it was a wonderful first Christmas with Jackson. We got some great gifts, but nothing compared to the biggest gift of all-being with family and having our healthy, happy baby here with us to celebrate! :)

The past few nights have been a challenge to say the least with our little guy. He has gone back to night waking every 45 mins to an hour. His eyes pop open and he fusses louder and louder until someone picks him up. It's getting harder to get him back to sleep because he wants to nurse and be held all night. Justin has tried rocking him and patting his back, but he will settle down only to wake back up when he is put down. So this means I am up with him most of the night and sleeping in 30 minute increments....which makes want to cry and also makes me feel like I am going to lose my mind around the 2-3am hour or so! Our pediatrician said the only way to break him of this is to plan on having 3 really bad nights where we let him cry it out. He said that it wouldnt do any long term emotional damage and that we wouldnt scar him for life. Also, obviously we need to move him to his nursery and crib, which we probably should have done a long time ago.

Last night was our first attempt and didnt quite go as planned. He is a smart little guy and must have sensed something was coming because he began some mega fussing around 8 pm, which is normally when he peacefully drifts off to sleep. Nothing seemed to make him feel better, and he was sticking his fist in his mouth and crying out. Teething? Seems like I am always writing about this. Teething rings give him temporary relief. We tried Mylecon in case it was gas. We gave him Tylenol in case it was teething pain. Or is it that he was overtired and fighting sleep? He finally settled down after fussing himself to exhaustion and fell asleep in Justin's arms. We placed him in his crib and got ready for a loooong night. He slept for 45 mins and woke up screaming. I admit i nursed him, because he didnt eat well due to all the fussing and I wanted to make sure he was full. We put him back down and 5 mins later he began screaming again. Justin waited a few minutes and then went in and tried rubbing his back, talking to him, etc, but the screams got worse. We let it go for 15 minutes and it was so bad that we thought he was going to make himself sick. Finally we came to the conclusion that maybe he was in pain, since this was THE WORST he has ever cried, so we decided to scrap our plans for the night and to comfort him. I put him in my arms and he just nursed himself right to sleep, although he kept whimpering from being so upset, which broke my heart! I thought we'd be in for a rough night, but he slept from 11:30 until 5:30 straight in his pack and play next to our bed. He woke up and I fed him and he was back to sleep by 6 and slept until 9 AM...yay! I dont know why his night waking is so inconsistent. We decided that tonight we would transition him to the crib first before we try sleep training. I guess I just assumed since he had already began sleeping through the night that he would continue. Wishful thinking, maybe? I keep reading about this 4 month sleep/nightwaking monster that creeps up on a lot of parents, so maybe that is what we're going through.

Just as I was typing that last paragraph, he started fussing and rubbing his eyes, knawing on his hands. He didnt nap well this afternoon. The fusses turned to screams and I put him in his swing and he is out in dreamland...for now! Yesterday I was talking to one of my physicians that I deal with for work (he's an OBGYN) and was telling him the latest with the sleeping. He said that as much as I probably didnt want to hear it, that they are only this precious age for a blip in time and that I would blink and he would be 15 and I would be wishing that I could just pull him close and have him close to me all night to watch over him. He said that one day I would be waking up in the middle of the night while he is off at college, wondering if he's safe and sleeping peacefully in his bed. So basically, he said that although the lack of sleep is challenging, that I should hold that baby close to me and thank God that I am still able to nurse him at almost 5 months and appreciate that Jackson has (and needs) that bond to me. Way to make me feel GUILTY! I am just so torn between getting Jackson in a better sleep cycle or giving up on sleep for awhile to cherish (even at 3 AM!) these precious moments that will one day be a memory. Ahhhh what to do? Its hard because I know I have work the next day and dont have the luxury of a nap. I called my sister in law, Becca, and she said that the advice she was given with sleep training her twins was that you have to pay the piper eventually, so you might as well go ahead and have your bad 3-7 nights to get the other side of peaceful sleep. She said it was the hardest thing they ever had to do with the twins. If not, she has friends that are still waiting for their babies to grow out of nightwaking at 20 months! I have read the same thing on the internet, and I dont want to still be up every hour a year from now. I am just going to try and take it day by day, but I fear that day of "cry it out" is getting closer and closer! I have no idea how I am going to find the strength to let him cry like he did last night. I am praying that he will have more restful nights like last night (after the meltdown) in the coming weeks so that I dont have to go through this. I really dont mind waking up once or twice with him....its just these 45 minute wakings that make me a little crazy.

So ANYWAY, other than that, Jackson is doing great and just wakes up every morning with the biggest smile on his face. This morning he was so happy, so he must not remember the traumatic evening before! He is learning to really jump in his jumper and loves when we clap for him. You can tell he is just so proud of himself! He is also starting to pull up his knees and start moving them in a crawling motion and trying to propel himself forward. Once he gets enough strength in his arms, I think we will have a crawling baby. Still no teeth yet, but he soaks through several bibs a day from all of his saliva. He is laughing a lot more now and loves when I tickle under his double chin..ha! He also smiles everytime I say "mama, dada, baba, baby, kitty cat, poo poo, pee pee, and boo boo". His favorite song is still "Jesus loves me" and I get a smile every time I sing the opening line. Everyone thinks he is looking more like Justin these days. His hands are like bear paws, and he definitely didnt get my hands/fingers. His hair is finally starting to grow back in and looks like a very light brown.

Not much else to say right now, other than that Justin and I are doing great and just busy working and taking care of baby. Still trying to make it to the gym 3 times a week in shifts between the two of us, although I have been slacking lately. I am 3 lbs less than when I got pregnant and back to my wedding weight, which is great considering I havent been at the gym much the last couple of weeks. Carrying around an over 16 lb baby is a pretty good workout anyway. I know once I stop breastfeeding I will have to really make sure I am hitting the gym and cutting out my chocolate indulgance! Also, we found out that Jackson is having another cousin, Kendall! Brooke found out they are having a girl, and we cant wait to meet her! We are also excited to meet Jackson's newest cousin, Caroline who is due in Feb. She is the newest addition to my brother, Allen's family. One more thing, I bought a different kind of paci yesterday and Jackson seems to tolerate it for longer than the others. He still prefers his thumb/fingers, but I think we might have a winner for pacis. I got a picture of him with it and he looks SO cute!

** Update: Last night he went to sleep peacefully at 8:30 PM and slept in his crib until 4:30 AM!!! I had to walk in and check on him once because I kept waking up and looking at him in our video monitor and he barely moved all night. I did nurse him at 4:30 since he slept for such a long stretch and he went right back down in his crib until 6:30 AM. Then, I brought him downstairs and fed him and he slept for another hour in his swing...success!! Maybe it was a fluke, but Justin and I are just SO thankful that we had a good first night in the crib :)